The problem is that I am allowing outside circumstances to control me.<\/strong> In effect, I am giving away my pow<\/strong>er and allowing circumstances, people or outside situations to control me and determine how I feel.<\/p>\n Albert Ellis, an American psychologist, developed the ABC Technique of Irrational Beliefs which explains this process of losing our ability to decide for ourselves how to feel.<\/p>\n A is the activating event.<\/p>\n C is the consequence or result<\/p>\n (I\u2019ll define B in a moment).<\/p>\n Many people believe that A leads to C, that an outside event determines the result and how we feel. You hear this when someone says something like, \u201cThey made me so mad!\u201d Or, \u201cThat (action or comment) ruined our trip!\u201d<\/p>\n If you believe this way, you are working from a victim mindset, which says that the result is the fault of others and that you are not in charge of your reactions. What a limiting, sad way to live.<\/p>\n B is the belief that we have about the event.<\/p>\n Therefore:<\/p>\n The consequence or result comes about because of the belief we hold about the activating event.<\/p>\n C is a result of B which is a result of A.<\/p>\n Does that make sense?<\/p>\nThe outcome of an event is not the direct result of that event, but rather your response to the meaning you have assigned to that event. <\/strong><\/h3>\n
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