{"id":2395,"date":"2021-01-04T05:30:03","date_gmt":"2021-01-04T12:30:03","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.melaniebnewman.com\/staging\/9944\/?p=2395"},"modified":"2021-01-02T15:59:00","modified_gmt":"2021-01-02T22:59:00","slug":"the-danger-of-dwelling-on-past-mistakes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.melaniebnewman.com\/staging\/9944\/the-danger-of-dwelling-on-past-mistakes\/","title":{"rendered":"The Danger of Dwelling on Past Mistakes"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>Do you ever find yourself re-living past mistakes?<\/b> Do you tend to wallow in moments of self-pity wishing things were different? Maybe wishing you had done things differently, especially when it comes to raising children?<\/p>\n<p>If I don\u2019t catch myself I can easily fall into the downward spiral of self-blame, and self-judgement.<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s a dangerous temptation.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>The Insight<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Over the years I\u2019ve created a <b>toolbox of sorts to stop myself from those dangerous thoughts that drag me down.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n<p>I want to share with you an understanding that I recently acquired.<\/p>\n<p>I was visiting with a friend the other day, a mother whose children are grown and have children of their own.<\/p>\n<p>She was telling me how one day with her family, she was bemoaning her faults, and her many mistakes raising her family, when her daughter asked her a pointed question.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs there something wrong with us?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>It caught my friend off-guard. The daughter repeated the question.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIs there something wrong with us?\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Re-thinking<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p><b>It caused my friend to re-think what she was saying and how she was choosing to feel about herself.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>You see, she has amazing children. Well-adjusted, capable, loving children who are raising quality children themselves. I know this because some of those grandchildren are friends with my children. I\u2019ve had them in my home and have seen their goodness.<\/p>\n<p>Hearing that blunt question as if it were being asked of me, caused me to re-think my moments of self-doubt and disparagement.<\/p>\n<p><b>What was I communicating about my children when I allowed such thoughts to run rampant?<\/b><\/p>\n<p>You see, I have amazing children also. They\u2019re not perfect. They make mistakes, but they are people that others and I enjoy being around. They are aware and responsible. They work hard. They lift others.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I could go on and on. Just as you probably could too about your children.<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Our Relationships<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Could we be doing damage to our relationships when we allow misplaced guilt to take over?<\/p>\n<p><b>What if, instead, we saw our children for who they are and enjoy the unique individuals they have become?<\/b><\/p>\n<p>What if we took the focus off of ourselves and our perceived mistakes and give thanks that our children are becoming wonderful people?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Much love,<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.melaniebnewman.com\/staging\/9944\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/signature.png\" alt=\"Melanie Newman\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Do you ever find yourself dwelling on past mistakes wishing things were different, especially when it comes to raising children?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2397,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12,11],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-2395","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-emotional","8":"category-mental","9":"entry"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - 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