{"id":2576,"date":"2021-06-07T05:30:39","date_gmt":"2021-06-07T11:30:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.melaniebnewman.com\/staging\/9944\/?p=2576"},"modified":"2022-04-18T14:09:38","modified_gmt":"2022-04-18T20:09:38","slug":"reframing-my-experience","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.melaniebnewman.com\/staging\/9944\/reframing-my-experience\/","title":{"rendered":"Reframing My Experience"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><b>Through reframing, I was able to turn a potential embarrassment into a moment of connection.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Let me explain.<\/p>\n<p><b>Personal Experience<\/b><\/p>\n<p>My college son and six of his friends spent the night in our home recently on their way to Yellowstone National Park.<\/p>\n<p>We served a quick and easy meal of grilled hamburgers with the trimmings, making sure there was plenty in quantity.<\/p>\n<p>Halfway through their hamburgers, I realized I had forgotten to serve the potato salad.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Hastily I plopped the 8-lb. carton of store bought potato salad in front of one of the friends.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cHere, have some potato salad,\u201d I said, and apologized for not serving it in a bowl.<\/p>\n<p>A short time later, while visiting with that friend, I learned he was a 5-star Mediterranean chef opening a restaurant in the United States.<\/p>\n<p>Yes, you may laugh at my discomfort. I have many times since then.<\/p>\n<p>I cringed when I thought of the hamburger buns they had to toast because they were still partly frozen, and the taco soup made of canned beans, and of course the 8-pound carton of potato salad plopped in front of this culinary expert!<\/p>\n<p><b>What I Used to Do<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Earlier in my life I would have focused on my feelings of embarrassment, possibly even shame.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I<b> would have easily made up stories in my head judging my inadequacies <\/b>as not just a cook, but as a person.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>I would have equated my serving failure as a reflection of my self-worth.<\/p>\n<p>Seems extreme, doesn\u2019t it?<\/p>\n<p>Yet, <b>how often do we sink into thoughts that undermine our sense of self?<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>What I Do Now<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Instead of focusing on myself, I chose in that moment to focus on and listen to my son\u2019s friend.<\/p>\n<p>He told me of his experiences cooking in Australia and Germany, as well as his home in Albania. He told me of learning English and of his hopes and dreams here in the U.S.<\/p>\n<p>No one mentioned the unrefined serving of my meal.<\/p>\n<p>Instead, he was gracious and kind and spoke highly of my family and how grateful he was to be in our home.<\/p>\n<p><b>Though this was not one of my finer culinary moments, it was a fine connection by listening to a person rather than focusing on my own self-esteem.<\/b><\/p>\n<p>Have you had similar experiences?<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Why What You Tell Yourself Matters<\/b><\/p>\n<p><b>Are there stories you tell yourself that interfere with your ability to connect with others?<\/b><\/p>\n<p>I invite you to practice the art of reframing your experiences and find connection, and in so doing discover peace and perhaps even humor.<span class=\"Apple-converted-space\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Much love,<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignnone size-full wp-image-462\" src=\"https:\/\/www.melaniebnewman.com\/staging\/9944\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/09\/signature.png\" alt=\"Melanie Newman\" width=\"223\" height=\"73\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Through reframing, I was able to turn a potential embarrassment into a moment of connection. Let me explain. Personal Experience My college son and six of his friends spent the night in our home recently on their way to Yellowstone&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.melaniebnewman.com\/staging\/9944\/reframing-my-experience\/\">Read More<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2578,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[12,11],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-2576","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-emotional","8":"category-mental","9":"entry"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Reframing My Experience - Melanie B Newman<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"What you tell yourself matters. 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